Even in the world of don’t-offend parenting, I got as far as I did because I tell the fucking truth. I might have the only parenting book to regularly drop the f-bomb. My entire brand is built on being not-blend-in-able.
My dad tells me to get the Kingsford lighter fluid which they use to marinate the CDs and tapes. Then they ask if I have anything to say. I just stand there silently. Then, with a drop of a match, our music is transformed into melted notes.
Diana Ross and Crystal Gayle had a Beautiful Hair Baby, and she has great clothes and the fierce confidence of a thousand 3rd graders. She is terrifying. I have to be friends with her.
A few times a week we shuffle down to the cafeteria, push the tables aside, and practice our routine to “My Best Friend’s Girl” by this new band called The Cars. Our first introduction to New Wave makes us feel superhuman — it’s unlike anything we’ve ever heard.