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Eric Turner
Albany, New York

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

About Eric

I am a University at Albany freshman, looking to get my MBA. Along the way, I’ve started a hip-hop collective and begun my career as a writer. At 18, there is not much behind me, but hopefully plenty ahead.

I’ve filled my head with every Carlin special, Vonnegut novel, Hunter S. Thompson interview, Kanye album, and Calvin and Hobbes strip available; now it’s time to face the world.

Stories by Eric

My Grandmother, The FBI, & Jay-Z | Learning how to make the song cry
My Grandmother, The FBI, & Jay-Z
Learning how to make the song cry

It’s a New York spring morning: hazy, dim, quiet. From the bottom of the staircase I hear these new sounds: wailing, then choked silence, then gasping for breath. It is 6 in the morning and my mother is in tears.

The Good Lies We Tell | A Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. guide for a spiritual existence
The Good Lies We Tell
A Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. guide for a spiritual existence

If Santa isn’t real, there really is no point in trying to believe in God anymore.

He Whose Eyes Do Not Blink | Thunder, Lightning, and The Batman
He Whose Eyes Do Not Blink
Thunder, Lightning, and The Batman

Lightning flickers around faraway mountaintops, thunder plays a sweeter symphony with the rain’s percussive accompaniment. Nature’s music overwhelms me; the beauty in it has escaped me for my first decade of life.

Lords Of Pokémon | 8 bits of brotherhood
Lords Of Pokémon
8 bits of brotherhood

We never asked if he could stay the night. We never asked if he could stay for two weeks, but he did both.

The Man Who Would Be Kanye | Someday I’m gonna buy me a spaceship
The Man Who Would Be Kanye
Someday I’m gonna buy me a spaceship

It’s 2 am on a school night and I’m getting high, scrolling through Reddit. r/HipHopHeads has become my internet home, the place where I get away from my problems.

The House That Plays Together | Coordinated axe attack therapy
The House That Plays Together
Coordinated axe attack therapy

After years of tumultuous marriage, Mom and Dad are finally splitting up. Mom has been apartment hunting and Dad’s all packed up. On top of that, they caught me smoking weed this morning and are furious about it.